Secret TA: Bitten by the Star!

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Bite Marks: 2   

Stress Level: 6  

Holiday Countdown: 1 week to go! 

Silly season is still in full swing, and things have been on a steady decline. The kids have been wearing less and less school uniform, packed lunches have been increasingly consisted of more and more junk food and behaviour – well let’s just say it’s been no walk in the park! 

The first thing I must tell you about is the Christmas Play!  There were rehearsals on a schedule that I am still sure would give Hollywood Cinematic Productions a run for their money and we got it to a place where it was actually good. 

The performance day came, we filed the parents and carers in, a couple of school governors were sat in the front row and we even had the entire front office staff stood at the back.  Here’s how it went:  The kids froze, then started doing parts that were not their parts, Rudolph vomited AND the big finale was the entire cast singing Jingle Bells. 

Yeah, it was me and my classroom teacher singing Jingle Bells whilst wearing inflatable reindeer antlers on our heads to a school hall full of adults. 

Crickets. 

The little one that I work with 1:1 is none verbal, so had been allocated the role of ‘Star’; because it’s important to keep him involved in everything.  Anyway, that’s why I was centre stage at the back in that evil inflatable antler crown.  Well clearly the awkwardness of this catastrophic finish was just too much for him because as I stood there, dying, the little Star bit me! 

“Well let’s give our Early Years a big round of applause, they’ve worked so hard!”  The Headteacher had sprung into action to call an end to the proceedings. 

We filed the children out of the hall first, so that the adults could leave after, avoiding confusion.  This is where Little Star saw Mum and wanted to go to her.

“We’re going back to class to get changed and then Mummy will be coming to get you”, I told the Star.

For which I got bit again. 

I mean, we’re working with five-year olds here so it’s not like we expected an Oscar winning performance, but the humiliation that me and my teacher felt was VERY real. 

“Well” my teacher had her head in her hands, “That was soul destroying at all was it?” 

We got the kids all changed out of their costumes and did the quickest handover to the parents and carers EVER. 

“Come on, let’s go get a drink!” I said to her, because there was a little gathering planned in the Staff Room. 

As more of the staff came into the room the jibes just kept on coming and even though it was all light-hearted and I knew it was meant in jest, it was really hard to take, and I was getting more and more anxious. 

“Well that was INTERESTING!” I head this booming voice from a newcomer in the room and as I looked around, it was the male half of the secret squirrel couple. 

I couldn’t help myself.  It just happened.  I wasn’t sorry. 

“As interesting as what WE saw in the top floor store cupboard two days ago?”  I actually my hands on my hips at this point, “Was it THAT interesting? Maybe we should talk about that!” 

My teacher groaned and grabbed my elbow, “Oh no!” 

Next: The Truth is Out!